The Public Speaking Blog

Well it’s been a few weeks since my last meeting, and I’m actually getting ready for the next on Monday.

My last meeting at Maidenhead was an unusual one, as much of the evening involved a debate, and there wasn’t time for “table topics”.

One of the members had attended a public speaking competition in Ireland – and she’d won! This trip had meant some out-of-pocket expense for her, so one of the Maidenhead club members had suggested she be given a contribution towards this from the club.

Sound uncontriversial?

Well the thing was, this person is a member of both the Maidenhead and Windsor clubs – and she’d won the competition on behalf of Windsor, not our club, Maidenhead.

However, Windsor did not have sufficient funds to support the trip. While the member had really represented Windsor in this case, it was suggested the visit had benefitted both clubs – and Maidenhead does have the funds.

The funds it was suggested we use were the proceeds from an event Maidenhead had organised on behalf of local clubs. So it was argued it was appropriate for this purpose.

The comittee had met and were split on whether or not this was the right thing to do, and on the night the club members were fairly undecided too. But everyone who wanted had a chance to have their say, and in the end it was decided the member should be supported with some cash.

It didn’t seem a great deal of money for so much debate, but it was the principle that counted.

Club democracy in action!

My “New Member Kit” arrived in the post.

It comes in a cheerful, white envelope with smiling people on the front. Inside, there are interesting booklets entitled “Gestures: Your Body Speaks”, “Effective Speech Evaluation” and “Your Speaking Voice” – all great.

There is a “Membership Achivement Record” (currently blank, of course), which outlines my “Communication track” or “Leadership track”.

Then there are two large workbooks entitled “Communication and Leadership Program” and “A Practical Guide to Becoming a Better Leader”. This is the heart of the matter. There are a number of speeches, each of which takes you a step along the way to becoming a Competent Communicator (formerly called Competent Toastmaster).

This looks like great stuff. Now I can’t wait for the next meeting to try it out!

Last night, I became a fully paid-up member of Maidenhead Speakers Club, my local Toastmasters club – and I gave my first “Table Topics” speech.

My wife Magdalena decided she wouldn’t really have time to take part because of the iminent baby (she is 33 weeks pregnant), so I was up against it by myself.

Well, it was all a bit nerve-racking, but I seemed to survive it OK.

Luckily, prior to my being chosen, one of the Maidenhead club, Steve, gave an excellent “educational” talk on giving impromptu speeches.

Knowing I’d soon be up there, giving a talk on a topic still to be decided, I tried to remember every little detail of Steve’s excellent talk. There was a lot to take in. My racing mind struggled, but I established it was a good thing to make pauses, convey confidence, never to apologise and … … and whole lot more which made my brain hurt.

Anyhow, Helen, our club president had asked me before if I might like to speak, so I knew in advance there was a good chance I would.

When it came to it, there were a couple of table topics speeches before mine; I had a bit of time to stew. And then I got up there.

I started off well. Bearing in mind that Steve had emphasised the importance of pauses, I started by going up and saying nothing, just rubbing my chin. Then, I said “Well, that’s my pause done and out of the way. Thanks for the advice, Steve. Now I can get on with my speech.”

I suppose this wasn’t really very funny, though it did get a laugh that sounded sincere and not too apologetic.

I waffled on for a while about how I wanted to become more confident and articulate, and how nerve-wracking this was for a newbie like me. I was beginning to repeat myself. My pulse was racing. I said something, and then realised it sounded all too familiar to me. I’d said the same thing just a few sentences ago. A sinking, desperate feeling started to engulf me.

And then: inspiration. I started to talk about how I’d come to this nerve-racking position.

I started just to tell a story, just as I would to a friend. My story started about with Magdalena’s going to the Toastmasters club in London. Then, once we’d moved to Maidenhead, I thought it’d be fun for us to do something together, and join Toastmasters in Maidenhead. So here I was, all by myself!

Well it wasn’t much better than my earlier joke, but it seemed to get a real laugh this time and I was on a roll.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a green light come on. I’d been up there a minute. A few more random anecdotes later, another, yellow light came on and I knew I was passed the critical point.

I tired to form some kind of natural conclusion (actually, I can’t remember a word of what I said here) before finishing off. I finished before the red light could come on, but I felt I’d done enough.

Someone said of my little talk later, “Colin talked eloquently and with confidence about wanting to talk eloquently and with confidence,” and I felt pretty good about that.

I’m all geared up for the next step. Most of the speakers are working their way through a book of exercises, each speech in turn focusing on a different skill such as “gesticulating” and “speaking confidently”.

The first of these is known as “The Icebreaker”.

Well my big start in the local Toastmasters has been postponed – for two weeks.

Something came up, and I couldn’t make it this week. The next meeting is in two weeks’ time.

I feel bad about it as I wanted to go to this meeting especially, it being only the second at Maidenhead. Still, Helen, President of the Maidenhead Speakers club, was very friendly about it.

I’ll be there next time – no excuses.

Yesterday was the first time I went to a meeting at the Maidenhead Speakers Toastmasters Club.

Toastmasters, in case you don’t know, is an organisation dedicated to promoting public speaking. There are clubs all over the world, each one with its own group of characters who speak to one another, and encourage the other members to improve their skills.

You should try to find a club near you – it’s fun. And it’s probably not as scary as you’d imagine.

One of the speakers last night, David, had a speech called “And death came third”. This, apparently, is also the title of a new book which is about to appear in our shops. The story goes that, in a New York Times survey on people’s biggest fears, death came third. The number one fear was walking into a room full of strangers, and number two was speaking in public.

If that’s true, people are more afraid of other people – than they are of dying. Which makes you think a bit.

The people at the Maidenhead club were incredibly welcoming. Magdalena, my lovely wife, and I went along as guests, this being the first time. Over the course of the evening, several of the members came over to chat with us, tell us stories and generally make us feel welcome. They asked us what we thought of it all, and assured us how much support they’d give.

And they did give a lot of support. Each speaker greeted the next with a handshake. Everyone clapped and smiled or laughed at all the right points. When commenting afterwards, evaluators were careful to emphasise each speaker’s strengths – as well as the points which could be improved.

To accompany her talk on “The perfect cake”, one of last night’s main speakers, Gay, had even baked a cake for all of us, and brought that along. So we supported her by appreciating it. I was lucky and got the last piece.

Well now, no matter how supportive everyone is, I’m still pretty scared of talking in public, I can tell you. I’ve had cause to do it a couple of times over the years, and it turned my knees wobbly. And not that I’m really the shy, retiring type either. I love nothing more than to be the center of attention. I’ll play any silly prank. But when it comes to standing up in front of people to educate or inform – well, I’m just a bag of jelly.

So when the president of the club asked if I would like to give a short, impromptu talk at the start of the meeting, I politely declined. But Magdalena, my normally cautious wife, agreed. She was up for it. Along with 5 regular members of the club, when called up by the evening’s “Toastmaster” Magdalena went up in front of the audience, chose a hat and gave a 2 minute speech on “where I got this hat”.

Which I found pretty impressive.

She held eye contact with the crowd, was calm and controlled, and spoke sweetly about how she’d bought the hat on our honeymoon. Pretty inventive really – we didn’t know anyone else in the room. And it wasn’t even her hat!

Magdalena really gave a charming little speech.  She really showed me something and gave me inspiration. I vowed on the spot to give it a shot. When the toastmaster asks again, I’ll be there – charging ahead to discuss my headgear. Or whatever else they want me to talk about.

And I thought it might be fun to write it down here, afterwards. It won’t be a comprehensive account of each evening. It won’t be objective. It might not even be very well informed. But it will be heartfelt. And I hope I’ll be able to show how I overcome my fear of public speaking.

The next meeting is in two weeks’ time. I hope to be there – and I hope you’ll come back here to see how it went.